Steve Marzolf [editorial/content/strategy/copywriting]

work I've done, who I've done it with and what's happening now…

Posts Tagged ‘Sleep

Rest Assured

Millions of Americans battle insomnia each night, but with these tips you’ll be catching Z’s in no time.




Bush-league sleepers cost U.S. businesses an estimated $150 billion annually in absenteeism and lost productivity. But fear not, rookie snoozers! While other Americans spend $4.5 billion per year on sleeping pills (see sidebar), we’re here to correct your dozing naturally. We even (yawn) brought in the experts to help.


Clear Your Head: Psychological links run deep, and things that happened to you as a kid – that bed-shitting incident at camp, say – can still be affecting your sleep. To avoid new hang-ups, send your subconscious the right message by limiting bedroom activities to sleeping and boning. “If you’re in bed for 20 minutes, go downstairs and read a book,” says psychotherapist Michelle P. Maidenberg. “Get out of there so you don’t associate your bed with tossing and turning.” 

Clean Up Your Act: “Take the pillow test on to find out which type is right for you,” says Michael Breus, sleep specialist and author of “Good Night: The Sleep Doctor’s 4-Week Program to Better Sleep and Better Health.” “Then, change it once a year – the amount of sweat, oil and other fluids that leak out of your head at night is crazy, and it breaks down the fabric.” Damn – just when that pillow was getting broken in! 

Psych Yourself Out: Leave the sheep-counting to Kentucky pimps and wrangle some shuteye with one of Maidenberg’s relaxation techniques. Start by breathing deeply, then talk out loud about a soothing image, like a recent vacation. Not working? Try Breus’ approach and count backwards from 300 … by threes. “It’s so damn boring that you pass out,” he says. “I’ve never made it past 150.” 

Dim Your World: A night-light can save you plenty of midnight misery. “The second you turn on bright lights, your brain thinks it’s morning and stops producing meltatonin, the key engine to the sleeping process,” says Breus. Studies also show that flashing TV lights degrade sleep, so if you absolutely need “Sin City Diaries” to pass out, at least set the timer so it doesn’t wake you up and reset your precious sleep cycle. 



Ambien – Pros: Knocks most people out quicker than a rolling-pin strike to the temple. Cons: Not great for toss-and-turners who have a tough time staying asleep (only lasts 2-3 hours); some claim they’re hooked.

Tylenol PM – Pros: Might alleviate that postdinner, pre-porn headache you’ve been getting lately. Cons: May have little efficacy on sleep or sleep quality; may cause liver problems if taken while boozing.

Lunesta – Pros: Goes the distance for a full 5-6 hours of uninterrupted pillow time. Cons: Not ideal for people who have a difficult time getting to sleep (it starts slowly but finishes strong, like you in the sack). 

Written by Steve

November 9, 2008 at 8:22 am

Posted in Maxim

Tagged with , , ,